"Marriage is made in heaven", somebody left these golden words. When the partner feels secured and comfortable, their heart weighs feather, caress flourishes, love springs, and ever after they stay in heaven. How beautiful, you wish such a life? I wish. But, here comes platinum words, "Rome wasn't built in a day".
When two strangers with mutually exclusive attitude meet in marriage, the war of accepting each other to obtain the above said hearty comfortness, starts. The one who reaches the goal first, would wait for the other, with tons and tons of patience. Some may take life time. But it will happen just like that and then you see your God roles magician in this life drama. Excellent, right!
The divine love of the heavenly couple lives high above of anything in the world. The parents who would pour tremendous effort, by any means, to push the couple into the heaven, sometimes, somewhere, knowingly or unknowingly, convert themselves as the barriers. The parents who want their children to be happy will become the cause of sorrow. Oh no, how is that possible?. Come on yaar, am not against parents.
Indian weddings are always special irrespective of language, state, caste and community. They include n number of rituals, formalities, etc. The era, they were framed, blends well with their purpose of invention. Almost all of them were framed keeping humanity top in the ladder. We are here in nth generation, few existing formalities are expired versions and few are deviated from the purpose of invention. Okay, lets get into an imaginary situation of an imaginary couple.
Ritu weds Rahul. One among their formalities is for every religious occasion up to one year from marriage, Ritu's parents should bring a saree to their daughter. Ultimate aim of this formality is that girl is at a new place and when her parents meet her often, both feels comfortable. Ok, formality is good, simple, harmless, interesting, routine-type, right? Ritu too is happy to receive a surprise saree with new design, color, pattern. Lets see how the involved simplicity grows to complexity. For first few occasions, everything goes fine. But the delight fineness declines when Rahul's naani says, " the saree is of low cost and few of her grandchildren are receiving better and costlier one".
yeah, these old age people, sometimes, they feel like neglected or avoided due to generation gap, during decision making on few important family matters. So often, they would speak up, just to highlight that "excuse me, am also a family member, with enormous life experience, why wont you consult with me and let me make decision for you. I would always suggest only good for you". Problem started growing when Rahul's sweet mom immediately accepts naani words and turned towards Ritu saying, " your parents didn’t do that, didn’t do this".
Ritu started feeling sad about her parents as Rahul's parents often compliant about her rolemodels.
Intimacy struggles between the couple as Rahul supports that.
Ritu, Rahul, both parents - nobody happy.
Only naani s proud about herself, as her comparison and domination is highly respected and she got back her ruling chair, telling herself, “appaada now am not neglected”.
My suggestion to avoid this situation:
When naani passes her comments, Rahul or his parents need not necessarily accept that. They would have told naani," we don’t expect Ritu's saree to be specific on any attributes. Her parents gift her with whole and contented heart, we accept it with same manners. Comparison is not at all required here. We mean our relationship to flourish not to decay" . With this Ritu feels proud that in laws and hubby respect and honor her parents and in laws also now started rolling as new role models to her. So everybody happy and their relationship flourishes.
Youngsters, parents, naani, mousi or whoever may be, be broad-minded, give importance to what is important to your happy life. Above all, keep humanity top on everything in your ladder. So, heavenly couples, divine love is on the way nearing you, start flourishing your togetherness!