It was very beautiful evening yesterday, doing my usual walk in the park and while sensing good breeze, i heard this conversation between She1 and She 2.
She1: my MIL started complaining that my parents didnt give x no. of sweets for the last week special occasion. They hav given y no. Of sweets only. Its her prestige issue on scale of her neighbour. But the y is the same as my parents side relatives have given to their daughters and boys parents are pretty much happy to receive. Its not at all less. Its what followed in our society. I always hate people speaking less of my parents when they have not done anything less. I never used to do things that hurts my parents as my parents would never hurt me in anyways. Thats why I can't stand with this and also failed in making MIL understand this. Its much disappointing and disturbing, that I cant concentrate in my work too"
She2: This is too bad, to hear.
She2: it sounds like old age MILs, always unsatisfied with girls parents. They used dominate and threaten emotionally the girls side. I could say that my grandma was execptional. I wonder this even happens in this new era. This behavior is so cheap and silly too. That too you are earning, why cant MIL compensate with that? Wondering why your hubby is allowing this to happen. He should support you not getting irritate like this.
She1: I dont know why my earning is not considered or respected at all. Am earning xx, 00, 000 per annum and amount equal to x-y no. Of sweets is just x, 000. This job is also because of my parents only. They have spent huge effort and amount towards my education.
She2: pardon me, but MIL is heartless! May be she is not good at maths, it seems. (Tried to change her mood, it worked)
She 1: (first time in the conversation I heard her better with small chuckle) yeah, may be.
She2: whatever happened is not your or your parents fault so dont worry. Try not to give much importance to this kind of situation and look into your routine.
She1: okies friend, see u later bye
Yeah, there are MILs still comparing whatever recived from girls parents and worst part is complaining that directly to the girl. Frequent happening of the same might lead to affect the girls peace of mind, increase the mental stress along with official stress, indirectly damage her health. That affects the boys too. Which in turn delays the heavenly marriage in every aspects.
My opinion is, present or future MILs, treat both your son and DIL with same respect and care, and treat your DILs parents equally important to you. Nobody is less than other by good human values. If you cant support the couple, atleast try not disturb their heavenly marriage. "Marriage is not done for prestige, not to showcase your finance status, its done only for life time sweet companionship and nothing can substitute this. Live and let live!"
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Today 30 July 2014, is another auspicious day, AADI POORAM. Goddess Aandal's birth anniversary. Its a belief that Goddess Aandal born on the day of pooram nakshathiram in the Tamil month Aadi. Its good that we go to temple on these days with family, to spend few minutes together. Lifestyle is changing from generation to generation. There is no much time to spare for family. Huh, nobody can blame anybody for this. Its TIME, which forces the change. Okay lets not get into this. I have something else in my mind to scribble here.
Its common query araises when one sees a temple, "why is a temple built when everybody says God is everywhere? Praying at home, doing poojas at home is not enough? Visiting temple is that important?" Our elders would compel us to visit temple as frequent as possible, then only God will see us, hear us. Is that true?
Of course, opinion differs and I can't expect you all to agree with me. Up to me, it might be partial. God is a supreme power and knows every move of yours. God knows what you want. But gives what you need, when you need it. God don't tell you to come and meet him in temple, to fulfil your needs. God expects our heart to be pure.
People enter temple with hopes and leave with positive thoughts. What is filled inside the temple is, the positive energy created by the positive thoughts of lot of people. More gets collected and stored in the sannathi or garbagraha because of converging shape of gopuram. Once you enter this place, the hair in your body, gold ornaments that you wear, etc., will observe those positive energy and make your body and mind calm. This makes you light hearted and leave with positive thoughts. This would be the hidden reason why the temple visiting practice is made very often. May be, lot more reasons exists. But this one is quite convincing for me. What about you?
There are lot of queries with curiosity to ask why is this and that. There is a quite interesting column carries conversation between God and science, in a worthy monthly magazine - "Frozen thoughts". May be, we would have got explanation for many of this, if ancestors traditionally practiced us, "This is the direct reason and that's why we insist you to follow this for your wellness".
Saturday, July 26, 2014
One of the best among the relationship is true friendship. A true friend is close to heart and soul. This is the living companion sent from God, to whom we can share anything in the world. When you are sad, just share with them. Suddenly we would start feeling much better and continue with our chores. It happened to me a million times, I always wonder. It’s a magical gift from God, I always thank him. There will be a long time gap, we won’t meet, we won’t speak, but we feel our friend is still in contact. The long silence never keeps a friend apart. For honest critics, we can trust friends. They will be there to encourage you, support you, showcase your inner strength, make you realise your weakness, help you, shout at you and mainly accept you as who you are. Any reason would be silly, to lose such a friendship. So appreciate those precious gems and be gifted.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Mother is live Goddess to share our thoughts with her, to confess something to her, to get encouraged by her, to be relaxed by her, to get ideas from her when we struck, to feast when its simply even idly she gives, to receive forgiveness often, to be cared, to give care, to learn managaement, to be pampared by her, to nourish you,etc, etc...
She is EVERYTHING who makes our world beautiful!!! lets honour our dearest Mom!
She is EVERYTHING who makes our world beautiful!!! lets honour our dearest Mom!
"Marriage is made in heaven", somebody left these golden words. When the partner feels secured and comfortable, their heart weighs feather, caress flourishes, love springs, and ever after they stay in heaven. How beautiful, you wish such a life? I wish. But, here comes platinum words, "Rome wasn't built in a day".
When two strangers with mutually exclusive attitude meet in marriage, the war of accepting each other to obtain the above said hearty comfortness, starts. The one who reaches the goal first, would wait for the other, with tons and tons of patience. Some may take life time. But it will happen just like that and then you see your God roles magician in this life drama. Excellent, right!
The divine love of the heavenly couple lives high above of anything in the world. The parents who would pour tremendous effort, by any means, to push the couple into the heaven, sometimes, somewhere, knowingly or unknowingly, convert themselves as the barriers. The parents who want their children to be happy will become the cause of sorrow. Oh no, how is that possible?. Come on yaar, am not against parents.
Indian weddings are always special irrespective of language, state, caste and community. They include n number of rituals, formalities, etc. The era, they were framed, blends well with their purpose of invention. Almost all of them were framed keeping humanity top in the ladder. We are here in nth generation, few existing formalities are expired versions and few are deviated from the purpose of invention. Okay, lets get into an imaginary situation of an imaginary couple.
Ritu weds Rahul. One among their formalities is for every religious occasion up to one year from marriage, Ritu's parents should bring a saree to their daughter. Ultimate aim of this formality is that girl is at a new place and when her parents meet her often, both feels comfortable. Ok, formality is good, simple, harmless, interesting, routine-type, right? Ritu too is happy to receive a surprise saree with new design, color, pattern. Lets see how the involved simplicity grows to complexity. For first few occasions, everything goes fine. But the delight fineness declines when Rahul's naani says, " the saree is of low cost and few of her grandchildren are receiving better and costlier one".
yeah, these old age people, sometimes, they feel like neglected or avoided due to generation gap, during decision making on few important family matters. So often, they would speak up, just to highlight that "excuse me, am also a family member, with enormous life experience, why wont you consult with me and let me make decision for you. I would always suggest only good for you". Problem started growing when Rahul's sweet mom immediately accepts naani words and turned towards Ritu saying, " your parents didn’t do that, didn’t do this".
Ritu started feeling sad about her parents as Rahul's parents often compliant about her rolemodels.
Intimacy struggles between the couple as Rahul supports that.
Ritu, Rahul, both parents - nobody happy.
Only naani s proud about herself, as her comparison and domination is highly respected and she got back her ruling chair, telling herself, “appaada now am not neglected”.
My suggestion to avoid this situation:
When naani passes her comments, Rahul or his parents need not necessarily accept that. They would have told naani," we don’t expect Ritu's saree to be specific on any attributes. Her parents gift her with whole and contented heart, we accept it with same manners. Comparison is not at all required here. We mean our relationship to flourish not to decay" . With this Ritu feels proud that in laws and hubby respect and honor her parents and in laws also now started rolling as new role models to her. So everybody happy and their relationship flourishes.
Youngsters, parents, naani, mousi or whoever may be, be broad-minded, give importance to what is important to your happy life. Above all, keep humanity top on everything in your ladder. So, heavenly couples, divine love is on the way nearing you, start flourishing your togetherness!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
May 1st, every year, celabrated as workers day, almost world wide. People from lower level to higher level everybody needs help from one another to lead a better life. For some help we pay for what we recieve, like, food, clothes, work-place, etc. No one is less than the other. So lets honor whoever through their hard work help us to proceed our life better. Thanks to all workers those who have given their effort and time for me in my life time.